Eddypoo, I Love You!
by VampireQueenSeleneArtemesia
Summary: Edward and Bella are not just in Love, they're FUNNY. Also, lots of romance and drama!R
1. EddyPoo

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, or anything (sniff sniff) sadly, those belong to Stephanie Meyer, and this applys to the whole Story

"EDDDDYYYPPPPPPPPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed "COME AND GEEEETTTT MMEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

"awwwwww, come on Bella, Please don't call me that in front of everyone!!!" Edward replied. "Remind me why I'm chasing you again?"

"Cause I have This" I waved his prized Mr. Tutu Bear around in front of everyone.

" BELLA!!!!!!" he screamed, with the funniest look I have ever seen. It was kind of painful, because even with his face contorted in rage and embarrassment, he still looked like a supermodel.

As if that wasn't embarrasing enough, he started whimpering."Bella, please PLEASE give Mr. Tutu Bear back!!!!


	2. Mr Tutu Bear

"oooohhhhhh ALICE" I yelled, come get _precious _Mr. Tutu Bear" I'm evil. Pure unadulterated Evil, But this _should_ teach Edward not to walk in on me naked without announcement.

"Gladly" Alice loves to torture everyone muahahahahahaha.

"Both of you _please stop_" dammit, he gave me the puppydog face! I hate it! That_ face _makes me agree to _anything._

"Ohhh phoey" _fine_ "Alice give it back"

"butbutbut _Bella_" " no buts Alice, Eddyweddypoo needs his male, dress wearing mangy Teddy Bear to survive"she handed it back.

"Yay" Edward smiled

"Not so fast big boy, you owe me" the smile got bigger as I puckered my lips.

"Anything you say dear" he met my lips, and deepened it further than we had ever gone.

"Awww, you just did that to make me give him back didn't you" I asked.

"Maaaaabbbbbbbbeeeeeeee" he responded. That glint in his eye either promised payback, or more kissing.

Oh my goodness please let it be the latter


	3. Your wayagain

"no, No, and for the last time NO!!!!!!!" I responded yet again. Edward was trying to make me sing _Bring Me to Life_ by _Evanescence _with him In front of the _Whole _Cullen Clan _Again._

"I told you last week that If I was going to sing, _Especially_ in front of the family, It would be something that doesn't flatter you _GIGANTIC HUMONGUS _Ego!!!!!!!!" I explained.

"Fine, than Ill settle on _My Immortal._" the eyes! NNNOOOOOOOOO!

"Oh" (grumble, grumble) "_Fine_ have it _your_ way as usual."

"Bella,"he said softly, "you don't have to do anything you don't want to." the eyes again, dammit.

"Seriously If you want me to, I will" I promised.

"Ok, than on with the show!" Esme exclaimed happily.

I started to sing

I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me

You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along 

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me

The seven vampires in the room just stared at me. So guess what I did? _I tripped_.


	4. New Permanent Nickname

Jasper's POV for a change:

"Alice?" Edward asked, "where is Carlisle? I haven't seen him in a while"

"He and Esme went Hunting about two days ago" she continued, "Have you been _that_ preoccupied with Bella you didn't even notice?" Edward glanced down

"Yeah _Eddypoo_, since when are you _that _oblivious, huh?" I asked, knowing what would happen next.

Waves of indignation, embarrassment, and anger started rolling off of him. Damn, he was pissed!

"JASPER HALE!!!!! DONT YOU _EVER_ CALL ME THAT AGAIN IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO KEEP YOUR HEAD ATTACHED TO YOUR BODY!!!!!!!!"he was screaming. Oh shit. Edward _Never_ screams, yells maybe, but never screams.

"Alright alright _fine_ I'll stop calling you Eddypoo."muahahaha

He smiled gratefully, calmed down and whatnot"Thanks bro, I appreciate it."

"Oh don't thank me just yet man, I'm gonna get Bella to make that your new permanent nickname."

Edward gave me a flesh-peeling look

"You are so dead..."


	5. WHY DOES NOBODY LOVE ME!

BPOV:

Edward and I were sitting and watching TV in the Cullen's living room, and Emmett came running in.

"Dude, you gotta help me! I pissed off Rose, and she's hunting me down" he gulped "I'm actually scared"

Looking around, he finally noticed me.

"Oh, hi Bella" I snickered

"So Emmett, what, oh what did you do this time that pissed her off _so _badly?

"I broke her mirror" it looked like if he could, he would have cried.

"EMMETT!!!!!!" a voice called, too loud for recognition.

"ohmygod ohmygod" emmett whispered, looking around wildly for an escape route.

Esme came bounding in asking,

"Emmett, why is there a giant Emmett shaped hole in the wall?" it looked like she was trying to stay calm.

Emmett started to look more and more like he was going insane...

"I...er...ummm...WHY DOES NOBODY LOVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Emmett ran out of the room, quickly followed by Esme.

"Edward" I asked

"Hmmmmmm?"

"Please promise that you and I won't ever fight like that"I whispered

"I don't know about the fighting, but i promise that we will Always love each other, and any fights won't last long, ok?"

"Sounds perfect to me Edward, absolutely perfect"

"perfect enough for eternity?"

"with you?" he looked puzzled "as long as I'm with _you,_ anything plus eternity is _exactly_ what I want" and with that, I snuggled closer to his icy chest.


	6. Plan Grope

BPOV:

(In Bella's house) Edward had gone hunting, Charlie was camping with some guys from the station, and Carlisle decided to stay with me instead of Emmett. I think it had to do with the fact that last time involved a bucket of glue, feathers, and an angry Edward.

"Carlisle?"

"Yes Bella?"

"Is there anything you want to tell me?"

"Actually, yes" he responded "I think you should know that the Jasper and Emmett are planning to play a prank on you and Edward."

"What are they going to do this time?" I wondered

"They want to "Chaperon" you tomorrow night when Edward comes here and you sleep.

Great, just...great. This is _exactly _what I need. Two prankster super strong vampires in my house while I'm _supposed_ to be semi-grounded

(The next day)

I could hear them outside

(Emmett): "Jasper are you ready?"

"alright Edward plan Grope 3..2..1..go!!!"

As Jasper and Emmett ducked through the window, they "caught" Edward and I kissing passionately, with Edward's hand moving up my leg. If only they tried to prank us more often...

Emmett:"Ewwwwww"

Jasper "gross!!!!!!!"

Us: "Gotcha muahahahahahaha!!!!!!!"


	7. Acceptance

BPOV:

"Eddy?" I cooed "Sweetie?"

"Yes sweetheart?"

"about your proposal..."I began

he interrupted "If you don't want to..."

I cut him off "Yes" his eyes bulged for a second

" as in..."

"as in Yes I want to marry you"

"alright then, We'll tell Chaarlie in the morning, and My Family in the afternoon."

(ooohhh lots of fun surprises in store muahahahaha)


	8. Speak of the Devil

BPOV:

So after last night, at around 9:30 A.M Edward left. Now what _I_ had to do was prep Charlie for the "_Visit", _as Edward did for his family. I got dressed quickly, brushing my teeth and hair. I had decided to just spare Charlie the beat around the bush routine and say it bluntly. Yeah, he would appreciate that being a strait-forward guy and all. I tried practicing in front of the mirror. "Charlie, Edward and I are engaged" no, that's not right "Charlie, Edward and I are _Engaged_" Crash. A voice came from behind me "_What???_" Charlie dropped his coffee behind me. "Isabella Marie Swan, downstairs _NOW!!!"_ oh crap

I trudged down the stairs with Charlie not far behind. The doorbell rang, and I knew _Exactly _who it was. Perfect... just great

"Speak of the devil,"Charlie whistled angrily "COME IN" he bellowed.

Edward came striding in with his usual vampire's grace.

"Hello Sir" he greeted

"Ed, I told you to call me Charlie a _Long_ time ago!" this was looking better than I had hoped


	9. Fainted? Again!

Where did I leave off?... oh yeah!

BPOV:

Charlie gave his blessing after a lot of wheedling, threats, and influence from Jasper.

I got in the car, and the first thing that Edward did was lock me into a passionate kiss, carefully brushing my lips with his. Next thing I realized I heard Edward's semi-worried "Bella? Bella, sweetie wake up!" I opened my eyes, looked around and realized that we were already in front of the Cullen Mansion.

"Dammit Edward, you did it AGAIN!!!!!!!!!"

his eyes quickly changed from amused to confused

"What did I do?"

"You made me faint again!!!!"

He chuckled

"Whats so funny?"

"If I could faint, you probably would make me do the same with your kissing expertice. Anyways, we should go inside. They're waiting for us."


	10. Sprayspit

BPOV:

As I entered the Cullen Household, I thought I had gone deaf. Then, eventually I realized that It was Alice sceraming ohmygodohmygodohmygodOHMYGOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!**

"the rest of the family restrained themselves to enthusiastic clapping, which, in vampire terms, is the sound of thunder.

Edward saved me from speaking through my embarrasment.

"**THANKS**" he bellowed to be heard over the din

Esme started with a "Welcome to the family Bella!!!!" there were cheers and champagne being poured out

"Do vampires drink Champage?" I asked

"watch and follow" Edward whispered

Alice handed the glasses out

"Bella and Edward, have a perfect eternity together!"Carlisle toasted around the room was a chorus of "To Edward and Bella"'s. Everyone drank, and... sprayspit


	11. Rosetinted glasses

Usual disclaimer applies

BPoV:

Edward and I just stood there beaming while dripping wet. Ah well, at least they like us as a couple!

Or mabe I'm just looking through rose-tinted glasses...


	12. Stupid Sundays!

( I'm making a joke, don't kill me, or say I'm against any kind of religon, so if you are a Jehovah's witness like my aunt, skip this chapter k?)

Kay, usual disclaimer

BPOV:

Those damn Jehovah's witnesses!they keep on coming to my door at ungodly hours,(no pun intended) and on _SUNDAYS_ no less!!!! Charlie is already at work, so _I _have to deal with them all on my own.

Wait, do I or do I not have a vampire Fioncee?

I did the inevitable. I called Edward. Surprisingly, Alice picked up. "Yes Bella, I'll help you, especially since Edward would just bore them to death.So, do you want to do this the Funny way, or the Maniacle, blow up the Jehovah's world way?" muahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

"You even have to ask? Of course the maniacle Way!!!!"teehehehehehehehehe!

**The next Week**:

Witness' POV:

We knocked on the door, hoping to convert yet another, so we could earn our place in Eternal Paradise

"ENTER..."

we walked in to see two young girls sitting in the middle of a Black room, with a cauldron in front of them.It seemed to be filled with blood and bones, and it was issuing a horrendous stench. They were chanting something...

...Hear now the words of the witches

The secrets we hid in the night

when dark was our destiny's pathway

that now we bring forth into the light

this world has no right then to know it

the world of beyond will tell naught

the oldest of gods is envoked there

the great work of magic is wrought

and do what you will be the challenge

so be it in love that harms none

for this is the only commandment

by magic of old be it done

eight words the wiccan rede fufill

an it harm none, do what ye will

They looked up and finally noticed us after one of my brethren sneezed.

"Oh!,"one of them said "your here just in time for the ritualistic chicken sacrifice! Come, and we will all summon the father of darkness into ourselves!"

we did all we could think of. We _RAN_


	13. Authoress

Authoress' note:

Any and all characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, NOT ME

The song I used for Bella, _My Immortal_ is owned by _Evanescence_

There will be moreRomance too, not just crazy Cullen stupidity.

Please, PLEASE review ok?

Thanks!!!!!

xoxoxoxo

VampireQueenSeleneArtemesia


	14. My Bubbly Edward

Naninanibooboo! I'm going to completely skip the wedding and her transformation!

Usual Disclaimer applies:

Bpov:

Ever since I was turned, my voice got better, and more musical. I became slimmer, and somehow more alluring. Edward and I are even closer, and, lets just say, more..._preoccupied_.

I had another weekly musical get-together with the family. I had taken up the guitar already, and I had found the perfect song.

I've been awake for a while now  
you've got me feelin like a child now  
cause every time I see your bubbly face  
I get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts in my toes  
makes me crinkle my nose  
where ever it goes, I always know  
that you make me smile  
please stay for a while now  
just take your time  
where ever you go

The rain is fallin on my window pane  
but we are hidin in a safer place  
under the covers stayin dry and warm  
you give me feelins that I adore

It starts in my toes  
makes me crinkle my nose  
where ever it goes  
I always know  
that you make me smile  
please stay for a while now  
just take your time  
where ever you go

What am I gonna say  
when you make me feel this way  
I just...mmmmmmmmmmm

It starts in my toes  
makes me crinkle my nose  
where ever it goes  
I always know  
that you make me smile  
please stay for a while now  
just take your time  
where ever you go

I've been asleep for a while now  
You tucked me in just like a child now  
Cause every time you hold me in your arms  
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It starts in my soul  
And I lose all control  
When you kiss my nose  
The feelin shows  
Cause you make me smile  
Baby just take your time  
Holdin me tight

Where ever, where ever, where ever you go  
Where ever, where ever, where ever you go…

Edward and I accompanied each other, and afterwards,we just smiled. After a while, I had even more of a reason to grin as he swept me up in his arms and kissed me making my outlook on the future even better.


	15. The End

I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!(muahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa!)

Normal disclaimers apply

How is it that every time I see Edward, he takes my breath away over and over again?

Well regardless, he does. All the time. Whether I want him to or not.

It's just that nowadays, I can even out the playing Field.

It's over, but I'm starting another Fanfic, called Edward's Lullaby. Check It out ok?

Toodles Selene


	16. grrrrrrrrrrrrr

Author's note: I have just received a very rude flame, and just to clear the air...I would like to make something VERY clear. I write these fan fictions for my own personal enjoyment as well as for the enjoyment of these who appreciate the lighter, more humorous side of the twilight characters. As an avid Stephanie Meyer fan, I am very much aware that my version of the characters is portrayed as ooc. (and if you don't know that abbreviation, you don't deserve to be on this site) I do not appreciate being belittled for a purposeful act of writing. I intend to write as many fan fictions as I please, In any manner I damn well please. If you don't like it, go read something else. Your negative opinion is neither wanted, called for , nor appreciated. And if I ever receive such a blatant disregard for my own creative license over my works, which is by right, given to every author who has ever put pen to paper, you will hear no end of my anger, as will Death's Little princess who you REALLY don't want to piss off...

I will not tolerate, know-it-all flamers, who's sole purpose is to make themselves feel better, and who are too cowedly to take responsibility for their own words by at least putting down a pen name, to which they can be held accountable.

So to Lauren, Get a freaking back bone, shut the hell up, and never contact me again.

And anyone who has had this problem on this website, feel free to copy &paste(just edit)...

AND ifI have no literary skill or talent, how was I able to write this ENTIRE note in a perfect Grammatical fasion with an extensive vocabulary, so kiss my PISSED OFF, ANGRY IRISH ASS!!!!!

Love,

Selene


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